Crazy Bitch

Does anyone ever notice odd couples? Sometimes I wonder if I notice things in much more detail than the average person, or if everyone else notices these things too but just doesn’t say anything about it? I have a theory that you can be an average looking female and land yourself a FINE looking guy–as long as you follow one simple rule. Be a crazy bitch. I’m serious! I have very concrete evidence to prove this theory. Look at my dating history! The last guy I dated broke up with me on a Friday (seriously, that should be against some sort of break-up code of ethics…Friday night, really? Talk about ruining someone’s weekend!) and was out to a family luncheon with his ex-girlfriend (who’s a CRAZY BITCH…and I’m not saying that for any reason other than that she really is…like, takes medicine for it crazy) on Saturday. We dated for 9 months…and the next freakin day he was back with his crazy ex-girlfriend. So you see….I’ve been working on my crazy, but it’s not been an easy task. I’m not sure what kind of crazy is good versus what kind of crazy is bad. But if it’s crazy, could it be bad?? I’ve got the bitch part down…well I mean, when I feel it’s necessary to act that way. I’m not just always a bitch. It’s definitely brought out on special occasions.

Alright…you want another example? One of my best guy friends seems to pick out the craziest of crazy girls to date. But the kicker is that he knows they’re crazy and it turns him on. TURNS HIM ON, FOLKS! I mean, I guess I can see how never knowing how your significant other is going to act at any given moment can keep the spice flowing in a relationship…I think there’s something to this theory of mine.

You don’t have to be gorgeous ladies! In the words of Buck Cherry….just be a Crazy Bitch. You’ll win him over every time.