I’m Oh So Charming

So I went out last night to meet a co-worker and her husband for a beer at a local bar. It’s not the nicest establishment you’ve ever seen, but it’s cozy and cheap and prime time for people-watching–which happens to be one of my favorite things to do. As I mentioned in the previous blog…I am not completely available to meet new guys, or go out on dates. I mean…there are no restrictions because the relationship is in the, “I can’t tell you not to date other people but I would be really hurt if you did” kind of stage. IE: complicated! However…I feel as though I have every right to flirt and be charming and have conversations with anyone who is willing (I mean, as long as they are decent…). So last night this guy…who I’ll call NY, came over to say hi to my friend and her husband (who are regulars at this bar, btw). They introduced us and I could tell right off the bat that, while he was very good looking, he was that kind of guy. You know, the one who knows he looks good but who gives off the vibe of player/anti-commitment. He was funny and had a little bit of charm, but I knew better than to fall for any of his antics.

I watched him work his way around the bar (I told you…I really like to people-watch) and flirt with various other women…some who made me think that he might be a little more drunk that he needed to be. For example…there was this woman at the bar who, to her credit, had a great body and really hot legs (i’m just sayin!). However, she wore a white dress that wasn’t that cute and white heels (a big no-no in my book). To top it off, she had on a pair of white granny-panties. I know–how could I tell, right? Well she had been playing pool and every time she bent over to shoot the ball you could see right through her dress. I was a little concerned why she chose the granny-panties not only because you could see through her dress, but also because you dress like that when you are looking for ass…and if you are looking for some ass then you DON’T wear granny-panties!!! But I digress…

NY struck up conversation with this woman, and I felt that while she had a good body–her face was old and it showed her age (at least in her upper 30’s, lower 40’s). She looked wore out…like she had frequented this bar, and others like it, for far too long. I watched as he hit on her, smiling and laughing as he told jokes that she probably overly-enjoyed. Once he left she would occasionally walk by and smile or say hi…gently touching him somewhere on his body. It was textbook. So NY comes back over to where we are sitting and he tries these same moves on me. I laugh to myself. I tell NY that I know guys like him, and that while I appreciate his attention–he might want to invest it in other women. This takes him by surprise…and asks me to explain what “guys like him” means. I proceed to tell him that I have a hunch he was in a very serious, long term relationship with a girl that ended badly, and now he is anti-commitment. On top of that, while I have no idea what he does for a living, I assume it is something that doesn’t challenge him. His jaw drops to the floor, my friend and her husband are laughing hysterically, and it is at this point that marriage proposal number 1 is offered to me by NY. He is shocked that a complete stranger (me) could have nailed him to a T like that.

He immediately opens up and tells me the saga of his long-term relationship (which, btw, ended because he cheated on his gf…TURN OFF), and how he does construction for a living and absolutely hates it. I smiled and politely declined the marriage proposal. I would, however, like another beer.

NY is now completely consumed by me, as he tells me that when he first saw me come in the bar he assumed I was really quiet (hahaha, this makes me laugh!) but was “turned on” by how blunt and sarcastic I am. I warned him that granny-panties, as I called her, was close by and feelings might get hurt if he leaves her hanging. At about that time she comes waltzing over and tries to get him to go home with her. I’m not sure if he did or not, because it was then that I snuck out…

I love nights like these. I had no interest in NY, but it was fun for me to call him out and watch his jaw drop. At one point he told me that he liked how “smart” I was. I reminded him that not all women at the bar are stupid and sleazy, and that I tried out the “dumb girl” routine but it just didn’t work for me. I think this might be a bar that I frequent more often…just for the shits and giggles. Plus, it was really nice to not have to pay for a single drink–even if they were coming from scary rednecks!